WTF!!!

10/28/2010

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I must've said or thought, "WTF!", a thousand times in the first few weeks after the OBGYN confirmed that my wife was pregnant and still do to this day and I have a very strong feeling that I will continue to do so in the months to come. I was flooded with overwhelming contradicting emotions-happiness, joy, doubt and fear. Is this really happening? Am I really going to be a dad? The concept of two people in love, or not in love for that matter, creating a life is mind-blowing and unimaginable. My words here don't do my feelings justice...

 
One of the first things that I consciously remember changing about my daily actions was adjusting my driving practices. The day before my realization I was  very aggressive on the road. 70mph in a 40mph zone was business as usual for me; weaving in and out of traffic to find the path of least resistance was a game! Not anymore... I might as well dye my hair grey, pull my pants up to the bottom of my rib cage and call myself "pops". My current place on the road is now in the right lane observing  the speed limit and following the herd, so to speak. My wife can't stand it and I can't help it. I have a family now and I need to be around, in top working condition, for them. Wow! A family. My family. WTF!!!
 
And so it happened. My wife was late. She has been late before but I had a feeling that this time was different! Of course it was, we were to be married in three weeks so why wouldn't we be pregnant now? I totally knew we were pregnant before we even drove to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy urine test and I was excited and a bit anxious! We picked up two pregnancy tests and booked it home. My wife did her business and then we waited... And waited... And waited some more... In reality it only took a minute before we saw the results (Positive +) but that minute felt like forever! By the way, the test says that you have to wait four minutes before you check the results even though the results are there in one minute. Four minutes!!!!??? Really?! Yea, like I'm gonna really wait four minutes. One minute was long enough! We both looked at the test strip in shock! We're pregnant!!!!!!! WTF?!? Why were we shocked though? I mean we were "Not, not trying" for months now so what did we expect! Still it was a bit shocking to see that plus sign. We hugged & kissed each other intensely and couldn't wipe the smiles off our faces the entire night. My wife took the 2nd pregnancy test about an hour after the first test results just to make sure and once again we waited... And waited... And waited some more... Yup, same result .... My wife called her OBGYN's (Baby Doctor) office the very next morning to schedule our first, of many, appointment.
 
A child that is...

Deciding whether or not to start a family is an easy decision. You either do or don't. The hard part is actually making it happen when you decide that you do want to have a child. My wife and I put into the practice of, "Not, not trying". What that means is we stopped using contraceptive methods and continued our intimate encounters as normal. If we conceived then great! If not, then no big deal. We still have plenty of time. One month went by, not pregnant. Two, three, four months went by, still not pregnant. Now even though we weren't trying to get pregnant (Yea, right! Who were we kidding!) we started to get worried that we wouldn't be able to. At the time, a lot of my wifes friends either just had babies or were pregnant and started giving her suggestions (Elevating her legs after intercourse. Having intercourse every other day so that I may build up sperm. Having intercourse 14 days from last period.) on ways to conceive. No offense to my wifes friends, I do love them dearly, but I really found those techniques quite funny. My wife and I had decided to have beautiful intimate relations everyday, sometimes twice a day to make sure we covered our bases; well I really decided on that. And it was more of a primal animal instinct then a decision. My wifes hot! I can't keep my hands off her!

With no fault of our own the fifth month went by and still we haven't conceived. Wait, no fault of our own? Was it our fault? Can we even have kids? Are we fertile? AM I FERTILE?!? Oh man! Talk about stressing myself out! So we went to Walgreens, the local pharmacy/mega convenience store, to get an ovulation prediction kit (Maybe my wifes friends suggestions weren't as funny as I originally thought!) and a home fertility test. So much for "Not, not trying", huh! That went out the window real quick. At this point we were totally trying to have a baby and were still worried that we would not be able to. We even started talking about Invitro and adoption. We returned home and on the third day after my wifes menstruation was over took the fertility test. According to the test results her FSH (Follicle-Stimulating Hormone) levels were ideal and she was able to become pregnant. Ok, check. She's fertile. What about me?!? My wife just happened to have a regularly scheduled gynecologist visit a week later. She came home from her appointment with a surprise for me. A prescription for a male fertility test which came with my very own, brand new, shiny: "sperm deposit cup"! Whhhhaaaattttt!!!! You want me to do what? Where? In there? Oh boy...